Through all the past months of weeping and wailing over the loss of my ex, I always knew, in the back of my mind, that I would have a much easier time getting over him when he started dating someone new. Despite knowing this, I would frequently plead with my Heavenly Father to keep him from dating anyone else; I didn't think I was ready to move on. I couldn't let go yet.
About a week ago, I hit an especially low point and finally told Him that I was ready for the ex to be dating someone. I knew that it had to be done, or I would continue in misery for a long time. Just like that, a few days ago, I found out that the ex was dating someone. I was sick to my stomach for a whole day, but then I started to heal. I knew from that moment that the time had come to move on.
The night that I found out, I had a dream. I dreamed that I was sitting in a small group, having an informal gospel discussion with President Uchtdorf. He asked us why it was that we so often put off the blessings that the Savior is willing to give us. The people around me gave the primary answers: not enough faith, pride. I raised my hand and, tears in my eyes and throat constricted, I stated that sometimes we believe the pain that we are in is better than the blessings that await us. We equate the pain we are wallowing in with staying close to something that we have lost, and we don't understand that Christ is just waiting for us to let go and accept what He has waiting for us.
It's like that story of the little girl and the pearls. The girl had saved up her money to buy a string of pearls from the corner store. Even though they weren't real, the little girl loved them. They were her prized possession. One night, her father came into her room and asked her if she loved him. She responded that she did. He asked her to give him her pearls. She told him that she couldn't possibly give him her pearls, and her father didn't argue, but left quietly.
This happened for the next two nights. On the third night, the girl was crying when her father came in. She told him she loved him, and that he could have her pearls. The father took the pearls from his daughter, and handed her a beautiful velvet case. Inside the case lay a string of real pearls. All the little girl had to do was give up what seemed so precious for something infinitely more dear.
We all have moments like this girl. We can become so blinded that we aren't willing to give up something fake and temporary for something genuine and eternal. Our Heavenly Father is waiting for us to give up the foolish things in our lives so he can give us blessings beyond measure. He will wait patiently while we learn our lesson, waiting for us to listen to the Spirit and reach out to Him.
I'm not saying that I've been foolish this whole time. I honestly don't think I was ready until a month or so ago. But I should have listened to the Spirit sooner and taken action. Life is too short to latch on to unnecessary pain when there is so much joy available. I'm ready to feel that joy in my life, and to take on whatever comes next.
